I find Luke 22:24 to be an enlightening verse and I am convinced that it holds the answer to the question “Why do I see disputes among me and others?”
A dispute also arose among them, as to which of them was to be regarded as the greatest.Luke 22:24
If I were to apply this verse directly to myself, disputes arises because of my desire to be regarded as the greatest. When I have a dispute with my wife on an issue, the underlying reason is because I feel “I have the better idea, I am greater” or “you have inconvenienced me. You shouldn’t inconvenience me because I am greater!” All permutations made me realize that all I am desiring is to be the greatest in the relationship, in that situation.
On closer reflection, such is also the underlying reason for many if not all of my disputes in other relationships. I want to be recognized more. I want to be desired more. I just want to be the greatest!
If indeed this is the reason for my contribution to disputes, and my desire is to reduce these disputes and glorify God, how can I eliminate such desires to be the “greatest”?
I think scripture is helpful for me. It tells me to channel my desire for greatness in this world to that of greatness in eternity. Scripture does not tell us to eliminate desires but to renew our minds and desires to that bound by scripture.
Learning from the subsequent verses, Jesus tells us that the greater is the one who is the “youngest” and the “one who serves”. I should not kid myself and justify how I am already serving like the rich young ruler, but to allow my conscience to drive me to despair and back to the cross. I rejoice.
I pray that God will let theses verses sink in such that I can understand and apply these truths daily.